Marriage, as we know it today has to change. It’s just not working and the reasons why it is not working is because it is based on a big LIE. There is not just one man for one woman or one woman for one man in the world.
The statistics obviously, prove otherwise.
This is a mathematical fact, not some fairy tale notion of Hollywood proportions. All you have to do is look around you to see that there are more females than males on the planet. Therefore, how can you base a relationship on something that does not exist? It’s like trying to find a unicorn with a Bigfoot riding on his back in order to be happy in your life. It is a scientific fact that males have been socialized to have “as many women as they can afford to have” while they are dating, but as soon as they make that choice to be in a committed relationship with just one, all bets are off, and he is SUPPOSED to put his tools “back in the toolbox” and suddenly become that mythical creature called The Faithful Male.
Meanwhile being in a committed relationship is a little something like this:
- Going to the same restaurant night after night, and eating the same dish over and over again or having your mate serve you the same “chicken dish” every single night.
- Going to the museum or to the movies, but only looking at one painting and not being allowed to even look at any of the others or go to enjoy the sculptures or other pieces of art there.
- Going to an amusement park, but you can only ride one ride. No side games, no fun house, no funnel cake (you know that stuff is not good for you, Honey) and especially not the really, really dangerous and fun rides like the Superman or the Scream Machine.
The fact that men are supposed to act like women in these matters is the main problem. (huh?)
Women, on the other hand, have been socialized to stay home, take care of the family, be chaste and modest, (otherwise she is a whore) serve her man, and yes…be faithful. She is supposed to wait for her man to come home from work, the war, the ocean voyage, the streets, the other women’s houses, hanging out with his buddies, whatever…she is just supposed to be there for him, at his beck and call, whenever he wants her to be there. No questions asked…and especially not: “So honey, what did you do while you were overseas?” (or wherever he was when he wasn't with her.)
Men on the other hand, are boys at heart, and we all know that “boys will be boys” and “play with their toys” and he “who dies with the most toys wins.” Right? I have seen promotional films about men during wartime, where they are encouraged to “go to town” or “go on R &R and get some p***y”--- “Here men, here’s a pocketful of condoms…don’t worry about your women at home…go and have fun! Just don’t make any babies and don’t bring back any diseases! And, for God's sake don't go AWOL!"
But, women don’t know this. They think that their men are in their bunks late at night, looking at their pictures (maybe masturbating) and pining away for their beautiful women back home. Then, you got the ones who have gone to jail and whether they’ve had short sentences or long ones, they are supposed to be celibate. Yeah right…those men get more sex in jail than they have ever gotten in their entire lives out on the street in their days of freedom. Then you have the men who go away on business trips for days on end, hook up with a woman for a one night stand, and come home to their wives like everything is honky-dory.
I could give you so many examples of how men have been taught to “be men,” while at the same time, trying to suppress their natural tendencies to do otherwise, while they are with the woman of their choice. For example, during the days of Homesteading and Pioneering in the Old West, most men had one woman by their side, out there on the lonesome prairie. But, every now and then…he had to get out of the house and “go to town” where he would visit the local brothel, saloon, cat house, whore house (or, whatever you wanted to call it) just to get some different coochie. And, then he would go back home to his wife or girlfriend, and act like nothing had happened the night before. And, the women knew what was going on, but if they "loved their husbands" they kept quiet, just to keep peace in their home.
Then you got the infamous, Bachelor Party…where the man is encouraged to have “one last fling” before settling down with the old “ball and chain” and no one is supposed to ask any questions about what happened the night before his wedding. And, I don’t know too many rich and successful men who DON’T have at least one mistress, or side-chick that his wife either knows about or doesn’t know about because he has carefully hidden his activities and has his wife so in the dark (either voluntarily or not) that she would never know what is going on in his private thoughts. Nowadays, it is so easy for a man to cheat on his wife without her suspecting anything, that it has become common place for men to have another phone, or other way to communicate with his side woman, like sending clandestine emails from his work computer or from some other public forum.
I actually get angry when I think about how many women have been cheated on, (myself included) because they think that their man is Prince Charming and “would never do anything like that” to her. Think again, Sweetheart…if your man is a real man, he will do whatever a man wants to do and you will go along with the program depending upon how important it is for you to be with that one man. Either a woman won’t want to not have a father for her children, ie. she doesn't want to be a single parent, or she is so “independent-minded” that "she don’t need a man a man in her life" and doesn’t need to depend on him for her home or livelihood...and with a six-pack of EverReady batteries...anything else for that matter. Those are the women who either sit home lonely every night, or who turn into lesbians just to have somebody to make love to on the regular.
And, still the cheating goes on.
The problem with cheating is the DECEPTION and THE LYING about it. I don't care if a man has another or other women, just don't tell me I'm your one and only, and then I find out that I'm not. Without, going into too many details, I have been in several relationships where the men had other women AND I KNEW ABOUT THEM and they knew about me. I had two rules in my relationships: 1. Don't bring me no diseases and 2. Don't throw your other women up in my face. In other words, if he respected me and our relationship, did what he was supposed to do with or for me, didn't blatantly talk or text on the phone with them, or ignore his relationship with me...I was cool with it.
So many men have a main chick (wife, whatever) whom they will swear up and down until the cows come home that they LOVE them to death but, a man does not have to love a woman to have sex with her. That is a proven fact as any prostitute can tell you. Many men have what is called "A Madonna/Whore Complex" where they will wholeheartedly love their wives, but still have a taste for having sex with another woman. This is not unnatural. What is unnatural is them suppressing these urges because of their religious beliefs, traditions, or family pressures, etc.
However, NOWHERE in the Bible does it promote monogamy. I don't care what any religious zealot wants to think or tell you...it is not there. (I've already looked for it.) And, as a matter of fact the kings and saints in the Bible had concubines and mistresses (Solomon and David) and other women of the city at their disposal. What it does say is that men should "love and respect their wives and treat them accordingly." It frowns upon sexual EXCESS and FORNICATION, and says that we should marry if we want to have sexual relations. Now how many people have forgone the marriage part and just sped straight to the sex part without a moment of reflection these days?
So, I don't want to hear this B.S. about one man-one woman, because if a man does not want to be with another woman besides his wife, he is like a tamed beast. He may have lost his primal desires to kill on command, but that doesn't mean that the tendency doesn't still exist deep down in his psyche. He might not actually act upon these desires for fear of destroying his present relationship, and yes he may truly love and respect his wife to the point that he knows that cheating on her would truly hurt her feelings, but, given the opportunity; given the chance to have an extramarital affair, and be guaranteed that it would not destroy his life or cost him more money than his is able to afford...98% of men would do it in a heartbeat.
I can guarantee you that much without a doubt.
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